Do you strive for perfection in everything you do? Do you hold back from speaking up at work until you have something “perfect” to say? Do you have a constant need for order and organization in your life?
Since childhood, I’ve been “A+ Anna”. I worked super hard to get the best grades and set impossibly high standards for myself. I spent all my time in my comfort zone because I was so terrified of failure. As a result, I avoided taking risks and making mistakes – both of which are key to confidence building.
One of my female engineer clients also struggles with perfectionism. She strives for excellence at work and stays up late at night second-guessing herself and ruminating about every interaction she had during the day. This causes her a lot of stress and takes away her inner peace.
Both of us have a strong stickler saboteur. According to the science of Positive Intelligence, the stickler is highly critical of self and others, works overtime to make up for others’ sloppiness and laziness, and is very sensitive to criticism.
Does this sound like you too?
Being a perfectionist holds you back because you stop yourself from doing new things if you can’t do them perfectly. The fear of falling short of high standards can paralyze you, preventing you from taking risks and embracing new challenges. For example, in university, I avoided giving presentations because I was scared that I wouldn’t do a perfect job. This compounded my fear of public speaking and hurt my future work life.
But what if perfectionism is also a strength? The superpower of the stickler is attention to detail. Perfectionists notice nuances that others overlook. This acute awareness leads to meticulous work, precision, and a commitment to excellence. Many entrepreneurs have perfectionistic tendencies. My attention to detail and pursuit of excellence served me well when I built my tech company. It also really helps in my coaching practice as I’m able to accurately recall the specific details my clients share with me.
Despite its benefits, being a perfectionist can cause a lot of undue stress and anxiety.
How can you stop the stickler from sabotaging your success and happiness?
- Cultivate a growth mindset where you view mistakes as learning opportunities and reframe failure as feedback.
- Create two buckets: a) 20%: things where the highest possible quality really does matter b) 80%: things where “good enough” is good enough.
- Focus on only what you can control and let go of the rest.
- When you catch yourself being overly critical, or setting unrealistically high standards, challenge those thoughts and ask yourself if your expectations are reasonable.
- Practice mindfulness to stay present and to reduce your anxiety about future outcomes.
- Prioritize self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend.
Are you ready to ditch perfectionism? Sign up for a free Confidence Booster session here to learn how: https://calendly.com/annagradiecoaching/45min
Lots of love,
-Anna