Are you generally happy and satisfied with your life? Or do you feel down a lot of the time and wish many things were different?
😀Happiness is when you experience positive emotions like joy, fulfillment, curiosity, passion, and purpose.
😢 Unhappiness is when you experience negative emotions like fear, stress, anger, guilt, and shame.
What causes your negative emotions? Your saboteurs do!
Saboteurs are negative inner voices that hurt your happiness. In addition to the inner critic voice of the judge, there are nine saboteurs that you may have: controller, stickler, avoider, restless, pleaser, victim, hyper-achiever, hyper-vigilant and hyper-rational.
What saboteur is the strongest in you?
Each day is filled with all sorts of potential stressors. But you can choose how you respond to each one. Between the stimulus and the response, there is a space. In that space, you have a choice.
You have the power to choose any response to any situation life throws at you. If you respond with positivity and look for the gifts in difficult situations, you will be happier.
Based on my work, I want to debunk three happiness myths:
1️⃣ The myth of constant happiness.
In your pursuit of happiness, the expectation that you should be happy all the time is unrealistic and sets you up to fail. Nobody is happy all the time. Life is filled with challenges, setbacks, and unforeseen circumstances that can bring you down.
Instead of expecting yourself to be constantly happy, psychologist, Dr. Judith Joseph, recommends that you find POINTS OF JOY in everyday moments. It could be a warm cup of coffee in the morning, a heartfelt conversation with a friend, or the beauty of a sunset.
How many points of joy ✨ have you experienced today?
By appreciating the small, positive moments in your life, you can build a foundation of happiness that withstands the inevitable challenges.
2️⃣ The myth of conditional happiness.
Do you have the “I will be happy WHEN” mindset? For example, “I will be happy when I get that job, promotion or house” or “I will be happy when I find that relationship.” Conditional happiness causes a lot of undue stress and anxiety. You will always be chasing happiness and will never feel satisfied with what you have.
Many of my clients are hyper-achievers who get their self-worth through productivity. Do you need to achieve bigger and bigger things to feel good about yourself? This constant need for external validation gives outside forces the control over your happiness.
True happiness comes from within and isn’t based on external circumstances. Try slowing down and savoring your successes 🥳 along the way before moving on to the next thing. Despite your challenges and your unattained goals, how can you learn to enjoy the journey? What can you do to be happy NOW?
3️⃣ The myth of success before happiness.
🛑 Stop chasing success to find happiness. Success does not guarantee happiness. Research shows that a positive mindset fosters creativity, resilience, and productivity – qualities that contribute to success. By prioritizing happiness, you pave the way for more success. I know that my happiness attracts more success in my life.
Your happiness is generated hour by hour, moment by moment, based on how you react to what’s happening in your life. You have the power to take charge of your own happiness by choosing how you respond to your stressors, focusing on your points of joy, celebrating your wins, and finding ways to be happy NOW.
What’s holding your happiness back the most? Take my new quiz to reveal the MONSTER that gets in your way: https://annagradie.com/reveal-your-confidence-monster/
Lots of love,
-Anna
