Is someone you love always trying to manipulate you to get their way? Does your parent, spouse, boss, or friend react aggressively when questioned? Are you always walking on eggshells in their presence?
You may be dealing with a narcissist. Narcissism is a personality style characterized by having an excessive preoccupation with oneself and one’s own needs often at the expense of others. It exists on a spectrum from normal human behavior to Narcissistic Personal Disorder.
Narcissists aren’t born – they are made. It’s a psychological response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse, or neglect early in life.
What are the five signs of narcissism to watch out for?
- Excessive self-importance: narcissists have an insatiable need for attention and admiration. They often exaggerate their achievements and expect others to acknowledge their superiority.
- Lack of empathy: empathy is foreign territory for narcissists. They struggle to understand or relate to the emotions and experiences of others. Their focus remains fixated on their own needs and desires.
- Manipulative behavior: narcissists are skilled manipulators. They exploit others to fulfill their own agenda, using tactics like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and emotional blackmail.
- Sense of entitlement: narcissists believe they deserve special treatment and privileges. They expect others to cater to their needs without question, often displaying a disregard for boundaries and the feelings of those around them.
- Constant need for validation: narcissists crave constant praise and validation. They require an endless stream of admiration to boost their fragile self-esteem and seek validation from others at every opportunity.
Does this sound like anyone close to you? It’s important to remember that none of this behavior is your fault. You can’t change a narcissist no matter what you do.
I was lucky to be raised in an extremely supportive and loving home and don’t have much experience with narcissism. As a single mom running a business, my time is very precious, so I have put strict boundaries into place. After every interaction with someone I ask myself, “Do I feel uplifted in their presence?” and “do I like who I am when I’m with them?” But this test becomes much more complicated when the person in question is your close family member.
How can you protect yourself from the narcissists in your life?
- Educate yourself: understanding narcissism is crucial in protecting yourself. Learn about the characteristics, patterns, and manipulative tactics of narcissists to recognize the red flags early on.
- Establish boundaries: set clear boundaries and assert them firmly. Narcissists may push against your boundaries, so it’s important to stand your ground and protect your emotional well-being.
- Practice self-care: prioritize your own needs and take care of yourself. Engage in activities that promote your mental and emotional well-being, such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with supportive friends and family.
- Develop a support network: surround yourself with a network of trustworthy individuals who understand narcissism and can offer support. They can provide validation, advice, and a safe space to share your experiences.
- Seek professional help: if you find yourself deeply entangled with a narcissist, or struggling to cope with the effects of narcissistic abuse, seeking professional help from a therapist.
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Lots of love,
-Anna
