Do you ever wish you had the confidence to go after what you truly want in life? Does low self-confidence prevent you from having a voice at work and asking for that raise or promotion?
Growing up, I didn’t believe in myself enough to venture outside of my comfort zone because I was so terrified of failure. My inner critic beat me up for my shortcomings, and I put a ton of pressure on myself to be “A+ Anna” in my obsession with perfection.
Fast-forward to my divorce thirty years later – my shaky confidence hit an all-time low. I was completely shattered but knew I had to carry on somehow for the sake of my two young children and myself. I took the advice of my best friend and hired a coach to help me pick up the pieces of life.
As part of my journey of self-discovery and personal growth, I completed several different coaching certifications, which gave me the tools to heal myself and to finally build my confidence. My science-based coaching method was developed from the lessons I’ve learned and from the incredible women I’ve coached.
Women in male-dominated industries
Lack of confidence holds so many women back, especially in male-dominated industries like tech. In 2010, I co-founded and scaled a software company. There is still a very real gender gap in tech regarding representation, pay, retention and workplace culture. In eleven years of rapid revenue growth, only 15% of the software developers hired by my company were female.
My mission is to help close the gender confidence gap and to accelerate equality in tech by empowering women.
What is confidence coaching anyway? I’ve been asked this question a lot recently, so I thought I would break it down for you here. There are five steps in my Confidence Coaching Method:
1. Increase your self-awareness
Confidence building starts with self-awareness. By exploring your core values, strengths, inner wisdom, and purpose in life, you will gain more clarity about who you are, what is important to you, and where you are going in life.
2. Develop your Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
The EQ assessment and report give you a snapshot into your current level of emotional and social functioning. By focusing on actionable strategies to grow the different EQ competencies, you will gain more confidence in emotional perception & expression, interpersonal skills, decision-making and stress management.
3. Tame your inner critic
Learn how to weaken your saboteurs and to strengthen your intuition using the science-based principles of Positive Intelligence. Which saboteurs are the strongest in you – avoider, controller, hyper-achiever, hyper-rational, hyper-achiever, pleaser, restless, stickler or victim? Stop getting in your own way with your negative inner dialogue.
4. Cultivate self-compassion
Why are you so hard on yourself? You would never treat a good friend this way. By being kind to yourself even when you mess up, you can give yourself a powerful emotional safety net. Self-compassion helps you bounce back from setbacks quicker, which builds your confidence to keep going.
5. Set stretch goals/fail fast
Start a fitness plan to feel more comfortable in your own skin, or join Toastmasters to conquer your fear of public speaking. Stepping outside your comfort zone and trying new things is a powerful way to build your confidence. Get busy failing in small ways to stop ruminating on your shortcomings. Take actions instead of overthinking.
If you can think of anyone who could benefit from my Confidence Coaching Method, please send them this link for a free Confidence Booster session: https://calendly.com/annagradiecoaching
How self-compassionate are you?
Take this quiz to find out: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/
