Do you treat yourself with love and kindness even when you mess up? Do you bounce back from setbacks quickly? Or do you relentlessly criticize your actions, thoughts, and appearance and spend hours ruminating on your mistakes?
Self-compassion has come up a lot in my coaching sessions lately. Many of my clients struggle to be compassionate with themselves. They judge themselves harshly, focus on their faults, and stay up late obsessing about what they did or said “wrong” during the day 😥
If I hear self-judgment from my clients about something that is happening in their lives, I often ask, “what’s something kind and compassionate you can say to yourself about what you are going through right now?”
When I was thirteen, my body looked nothing like the images in the magazines, so I refused to wear a bathing suit, or go swimming for ten years. To this day, I am still a terrible swimmer. I denied myself the pleasure of swimming because I didn’t measure up to the high standards I set for myself.
👿 Your inner critic often rips into you relentlessly when you need love and compassion the most. Is this the way you would treat a good friend?
Shame and self-judgment were a big part of my life until I experienced the transformative power of coaching 🙏🏼 My inner voice is now a positive cheerleader who supports me instead of sabotages me. If I can make this change after a lifetime of beating myself up, you can too!
❤️ Self-compassion is an important component of confidence. Being self-compassionate helps you bounce back from challenges quicker, which boosts your resilience when you fail. It gives you the confidence to keep going.
What is self-compassion?
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, there are three parts to self-compassion:
- Kindness: being warm and understanding towards yourself when you suffer, fail, or feel inadequate
- Common humanity: recognizing that suffering and feelings of inadequacy are part of being human
- Mindfulness: observing your negative thoughts with openness and clarity
💜 The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself.
What is your current level of self-compassion? Take this test to find out: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/
What are the two types of self-compassion?
TENDER self-compassion is a powerful safety net that catches you when you fall and contributes to your well-being.
But fierce self-compassion is equally important – taking action to alleviate your suffering.
FIERCE self-compassion is about protecting, motivating, and standing up for yourself. Saying “no”, taking a stand, setting boundaries, or fighting injustice.
How can you turn this fierce energy inward and advocate for yourself at home or at work? Is there a boundary you need to set?
😍 By speaking to yourself with love and kindness and even giving yourself a hug, you have access to a powerful source of support – YOU – 24-7. What if you showed yourself the same love and compassion you always give to your friends and family?
Take the first step towards being more self-compassionate by signing up for one of my free Confidence Booster Sessions today: https://calendly.com/annagradiecoaching/45min
Lots of love,
-Anna
