Research shows that women struggle with confidence more than men. In my coaching conversations with women all over the world, I keep hearing about lack of confidence holding you back from greater success and happiness.
Confidence is the belief in your success that stimulates action. As a general rule, doubt causes men to act and women to pause.
What are some reasons for this gender gap in confidence?
1. Socialization in school
Girls are rewarded for being “good” in school.
Girls are taught to follow the rules, get good grades, and listen to their teachers. As a result, many girls avoid taking risks and making mistakes, both of which are key to confidence building. According to my Grade 2 teacher, “Anna does not take risks and is very careful in all she does”. As a child, I only tried something new if I had some degree of confidence that I would succeed.
2. Overthinking
Do you find yourself up at night obsessing about what you did or said during the day?
Women typically put greater weight on emotional connections and find ourselves ruminating about what we did wrong. We dwell on problems, rather than solutions, which hurts our ability to take action.
3. Pursuit of perfection
Do you only speak up when you have a fully-formed thought to contribute? Studies show that, unlike their male counterparts, female professionals apply to jobs only if they meet 100% of the requirements. Women experience so much pressure to be perfect in every area of our lives. This inhibits achievement and hurts our self-confidence.
How confident are you?
Take this quiz to find out: https://learnconfidencecode.com/about-quiz/
The good news is that you can leave self-doubt behind and increase your confidence at any stage of your life. Here’s now:
1. Fail fast
Get busy failing in small ways to stop ruminating on your shortcomings. Take actions instead of overthinking. Get outside your comfort zone and try new things. For example, I conquered my fear of public speaking by joining Toastmasters. My first speech was a disaster as I completely lost my train of thought. But I recovered from this small failure, and my confidence has grown each time I speak in public.
2. Reduce negative self-talk
Simply notice your inner critic when it rears its ugly head to weaken its power over your life. Start journaling about your negative thoughts and look for alternative points of view. Sign up for my 6-Week Positive Intelligence Bootcamp to learn science-based tools to tame these saboteur voices and to tap into your inner wisdom.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
By being kind to yourself when you mess up, you can give yourself a powerful emotional safety net. When you fail, try being warm and understanding towards yourself and recognize that your suffering is part of being human. Self-compassion helps you bounce back from setbacks quicker, which builds your confidence to keep going.
Interested in growing your confidence? Take the first step and book your free Clarity Call with me today.
Lots of love,
-Anna
