Was becoming a mother for the first time way harder than you expected? Did you feel like everyone else was having an easier time than you?
You are not alone. What motherhood is really like is not talked about in our society. We are told that babies equal happiness, women are naturally equipped to deal with the demands of the post-partum period, and that new babies bring couples closer together.
Like many other women, my journey to becoming a mother was a struggle as I had two miscarriages (including one ectopic pregnancy) 💔 before delivering a healthy baby girl. Childbirth is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. After sixty hours of labor and an emergency C-section, I was so traumatized it was difficult for me to feel the joy I had been expecting. I also couldn’t focus on my own recovery as the needs of my baby came first.
Did your new baby bring you closer to your partner? The sleepless nights, round the clock feedings, and emotional trauma you experience often drive a wedge into your relationship as you have no energy or time to connect with your partner.
Do you experience any grief for your old life? Motherhood is such a beautiful gift, and my children are the lights ⭐⭐ of my life, but the cost is the complete loss of your personal freedom and the life you once knew.
Shortly after finding out I was pregnant with my very-much-wanted second child, I remember walking down the street pushing my toddler in a stroller while sobbing uncontrollably because I knew how much my life was going to change. And then feeling ashamed that I didn’t feel happy like I was supposed to 😢
Unmet expectations caused by inaccurate portrayals of motherhood in our culture result in so much suffering and shame as the needs of mothers are completely replaced by the needs of our babies.
We must cultivate a more honest, open dialogue in our communities about the realities of motherhood. 🩷 Mothers need more support, so they can start prioritizing themselves, even in small ways. Try doing something for yourself without feeling guilty.
When you take care of yourself by exercising, booking a massage, or going on a vacation without your baby, you will have more to give as a mother. Don’t forget to put your own oxygen mask on first
💕 I want to dedicate this newsletter to all the amazing mothers in my life: my own incredibly inspiring mother who has been my rock and constant source of support through everything, my dearly departed Gramma who helped make my childhood so magical, my mama bear sister, my ex-MIL who I miss and admire greatly, and my mommy friends.
Last, but not least, my incredible mothers in tech clients who courageously juggle the demands of work and motherhood everyday – I see you, and I’m in awe of all that you do.
I hope you felt loved and appreciated on Mothers Day 💐
What can you do to look after you? Take the first step and book one of my free Confidence Booster sessions here: https://calendly.com/annagradiecoaching/45min
Lots of love,
-Anna
