Do you say “sorry” before asking a question, or giving your opinion at a meeting? “Sorry, this is going to sound silly, but…” or “sorry to interrupt, but…”. What about filling your emails with apologetic language, or replying with an apology when you don’t respond to a text right away? If someone bumps into you, do you apologize?
So many women start and end our sentences by saying sorry. All of this unnecessary apologizing makes it hard for anyone to take what you have to say seriously. It is killing your confidence!
Why do women apologize more than men?
Because so many of us are people-pleasers. We have been socialized to put the needs of everyone else above our own. This superpower of empathy translates into constant worry about offending someone, or stepping on a colleague’s toes. I hate feeling like anyone is mad at me, so I am guilty of handing out apologies like candy.
Apologizing has become a habitual way of communicating. But this hurts your confidence and your sense of self-worth.
When praised for a job well done, do you deflect and give your team all the credit? Men own their accomplishments; women downplay them. This culture of feminine modesty has to stop. Old fashioned ideas like “pride before a fall” need to go away.
Own your amazing contributions to this world and simply say “thank you” when you are recognized.
Being humble is “having or showing a low estimate of your worth”. Why is this a celebrated way of being? There is no way I want my children to grow up to be so humble that they downplay their successes.
The next time you say sorry needlessly, or minimize your accomplishments, stop and think about what you are doing to your confidence and what kind of example you want to set for other women and girls.
Watch this hilarious, spot-on Ted Talk, “How Apologies Kill Our Confidence” by Professor Maja.