What sets you off? What situations bring out a strong emotional reaction in you? When do you react without thinking in a way you regret later 😢 ?
Triggers are external or internal stimuli that elicit a significant emotional response within you. Past experiences, beliefs, values, and insecurities can create triggers that condition you to respond in a particular way.
For example, one of my clients feels extremely hurt if she is not invited to every social event in her friend group. Others experience anxiety in crowded places.
When you react without thinking, your emotions take control, leading to impulsive and potentially harmful actions. This can really damage your social relationships 💔.
How can you stop 🛑 this from happening?
The first step is self-awareness. Spend some time journaling or reflecting on what triggers you. What situations really rub you the wrong way, or make you feel bad? Make a list of these things.
In coach training, we were asked to identify “what you can’t be with”, and to name this emotion or feeling. This meant facing something we had spent a lifetime avoiding. Mine was criticism. I have a history of reacting harshly to any real or perceived criticism. I spent most of my life chasing perfectionism and couldn’t tolerate anything about me that wasn’t perfect.
The second step is developing your Emotional Intelligence (EQ). EQ helps you identify and manage your emotions effectively. With higher EQ, when you are triggered, you can pause, reflect, and choose your response instead 🙏.
How can you grow your EQ? Sign up for an Emotional Intelligence assessment with me to get your EQ score, and to understand your current level of emotional and social functioning coaching@anna.gradie.com. See where you rate on all 15 EQ competencies. Learn actionable strategies to develop your lower EQ areas.
For example, emotional self-awareness can be boosted by downloading the Mood Meter app. This app tracks your emotions throughout the day. By logging your emotions, you can identify patterns and better understand what triggers different emotional states.
The third step is treating yourself with compassion 😍. By repeatedly responding the same way to the same trigger over the course of your life, this response becomes hardwired into your brain. It takes time to choose healthier responses and to create new neural pathways. Treat yourself with kindness when you fail. Triggers are part of the shared human experience. Self-compassion gives you the resilience to try again and to do better next time.
💪 You are in control of how you react to the circumstances of your life. Between the trigger and the response, there is a space. In that space, you have a choice. Pause, take a breath, and choose a more thoughtful reaction to cultivate healthier relationships, reduce conflicts, and create a more fulfilling life.
I can help you be less triggered. Sign up for a free Confidence Booster session here to learn how: https://calendly.com/annagradiecoaching
Lots of love,
-Anna
