What is your current level of self-compassion? Take this test to find out
Why are you so hard on yourself?
So many of us beat ourselves up for failures and judge any of our perceived shortcomings harshly. When I was thirteen, my body looked nothing like the images in the magazines, so I refused to wear a bathing suit or go swimming for ten years. To this day, I am still a terrible swimmer. Your inner critic can rip into you relentlessly when you need love and compassion the most. Is this the way you would treat your best friend?
What if you showed yourself the same love and compassion you always give to your friends and family?
Self-compassion is about being kind and understanding to yourself even when you mess up.
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, there are three parts to self-compassion:
- Kindness: being warm and understanding towards yourself when you suffer, fail or feel inadequate
- Common Humanity: recognizing that suffering and feelings of inadequacy are part of being human
- Mindfulness: observing your negative thoughts with openness and clarity
Suffering = pain x resistance
Do you avoid feeling negative emotions by suppressing them or numbing them with alcohol? Resisting your negative emotions actually makes them worse.
When you experience a painful emotion, try speaking to yourself kindly, seeing your pain as part of the shared human experience, and truly feeling the pain. Practicing self-compassion will help you process your emotions more effectively.
Next time you screw up at work, say the wrong thing to your partner, or indulge in that extra slice of chocolate cake, practice being kind to yourself for being a perfectly imperfect human, instead of criticizing yourself.
Being self-compassionate helps you bounce back from challenges quicker, which boosts your resilience during these difficult times. By speaking to yourself with care and kindness and even giving yourself a hug, you have access to a powerful source of support – YOU – 24-7.
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Why not try these guided meditations to increase your self-compassion
